Ok, ok, I know this subject gets talked about a great deal, and everybody thinks they have the key to what it’s all about!

But just hold on!

I really think I have the key to what it’s all about!

The dictionary gives a number of definitions for what confidence is, but they all boil down to one basic thing.

Trust!

“…from Latin confīdere, from fīdere to trust”

If we feel we can confide in someone, we have “confidence” that they will keep what we say “confidential.”

In other words, we trust them!

If we have confidence that something will work out the way we want it to, or at least the way we believe it will, we can say we trust the process.

If we have confidence in a co-worker’s abilities, we can say we trust them to do what they say they can do, or what we have previously observed them being able to do. We trust in their ability to succeed!

Self confidence comes from a high level of trust in ourselves, not so much that what we do in any particular situation will work out, but rather that we can be ok regardless of what happens. We have a belief that we are able to handle ourselves in a wide range of situations and can handle a wide range of possible scenarios and be fine regardless of the outcome.

We trust ourselves and our ability to be resilient, flexible, and to keep ourselves safe from whatever imagined psychic or emotional threat to our well-being might be gerbil-wheeling around in our heads.

In other words, we have a recognition that we are the keepers of our own safety, and therefore feel generally safe in the world in a variety of contexts and situations.

This applies to all points in our lives, but is particularly noticeable at points of life transitions.

Transitions tend to be unsettling because those are the times when we are moving from familiarity to the unknown.

And as we all know, the unknown can be a little scary since it is difficult to prepare for, and often catches us off-guard and may require new skills and new information to maneuver through.

There’s a quote by an unknown author that I think particularly salient to demonstrate this.

“When you come to the edge of all you know,

And are about to step off into the unknown,

Faith is knowing one of two things will happen.

Either there will be something solid to stand on,

Or you will be taught to fly.”

Confidence in yourself and your capability to handle whatever comes next allows you to journey through these transitions in a way that creates more positive anticipation of your future, rather than creating fear!

You can explore life and all the adventures you might have, rather than living cautiously and missing out!

Do you trust yourself and the people in your life?

Do you have the confidence to be open to new adventures in your life?

Let me know the ways in which having confidence in, and trusting yourself or someone/something, has opened up opportunities for you, or added to the quality of your life and the joy you’ve allowed yourself to feel in a particular instance…or in general!

I’d love to hear from you…let me know whether you agree (disagree?) that trust is indeed the key to what confidence is all about!

Coach Char

Guiding You to Grow Your Legacy, One Blog at a Time!

I shop at Goodwill Stores. I am not shy about saying this…I consider it fun, thrifty, and a “green” thing to do. As I was shopping at one of these lovely establishments today, it occurred to me how much of a form of meditative practice it is. It is difficult to shop at Goodwill if you have a preconceived agenda regarding what you will find. It requires staying in the moment, in order to see what is there in a way that allows you to decide its potential usefulness…either in a creative sense, or a functional sense.

I am also amazed by how often I find just the perfect piece of clothing, in the right color, and often something that will match well with other things I already own. This only occurs, I suspect, because I keep my mind open and my judgments at bay. I, in effect, flow with the experience rather than holding preconceived ideas about what I want to find. This also happens when I need a picture frame to go with a watercolor painting after I complete the picture. I go to Goodwill, and a frame materializes that, when taken home, compliments the painting perfectly. You may be thinking I probably painted a picture which would go with that particular frame, or that any frame would do, but I have been told by others that it is remarkable how well matched the frame is to the particular painting that was just completed the day before shopping for the frame. I do believe in the concept of synchronicity, and I believe my experiences with Goodwill in this regard are evidence of synchronicity at work in the world!

I also believe that acceptance is the key to feeling satisfied in our lives, and Goodwill shopping helps me practice acceptance. If they don’t have a piece of clothing I like in my size, there is nothing to be done but to either feel a sense of resignation at the loss and to get discouraged, or to accept that I cannot have the piece of clothing and move on. With the practice of acceptance comes the possibility of seeing something else which might be just as wonderful!

Isn’t this the practice of life? I use my Goodwill shopping as a practice field for experiencing life in a way that allows me to feel good about what comes my way in my relationships and other life experiences, rather than choosing to feel bad when things don’t go my way. Try it and see!

Life is a puzzle…sometimes it feels complex and confusing, and sometimes so simple and unremarkable as to seem single faceted and uninteresting (ie: boring!)

Guidance and direction can be helpful in maneuvering through this adventure called life.

This can be especially true the closer we get to the time in our lives (age 50 ) when we contemplate what THE SECOND HALF of our lives will bring, as kids leave the home, as our own parents continue to age, and are perhaps in more need of our assistance and support, as we consider the possibility of stopping the work we are doing and begin to think about filling our days with new careers & passions long dormant…perhaps here-to-for alive only in our dreams , volunteer endeavors, hobbies, etc.

So much to think about!  So much potential for life transformation! WHAT A PERFECT TIME for a perfectly wonderful transformation!

I can help you navigate through it all and assist you in creating the life you want out of all the chaos, confusion, jumbled dreams, and myriads of possibilities, perceived obligations, emotionally draining beliefs about what is possible and what is impossible to attain for yourself before your life is over and done!

There are important aspects of life to consider as we move into this period of life. Let’s consider them one at a time…and see how they all fit into a retirement that brings joy and fullness to our lives!