What Is Life Transitions Coaching, Anyway?

We’re very familiar with the concept of sports coaches, speech and voice coaches, acting coaches, etc, etc, etc.

And yet, for the most important thing we do on this earth… LIVING… we get no formal training and instead, we are taught by parents and other adults who may not have found what works very well in their own lives, so can’t be terrifically effective guides for living well.

Life is an “advanced course” during the best of times, but during times of transition it can be a real challenge!

SO WHAT DO I MEAN BY TRANSITIONS?

There is nothing more constant and consistent in this world than change. Everything in nature, and in our lives, evolves from one thing to another on a regular basis.

Sometimes it feels like “one damn thing after another…” and sometimes it feels like “the same damn thing over and over again…” but you can be sure it will be something!

When the “something” is enjoyable, we are distressed that it doesn’t stick around longer, and when the “something” is less than pleasant, we wonder if it will ever stop!

But it always does, whether pleasant or unpleasant. And, in fact, it probably has much the same life-span regardless of whether we are having a good time or are miserable. Remember, time is relative!

There are some Universal Transitions many experience…

These include:

CHILDHOOD (Lord help us, it’s often amazing we live through this one, kids and parents alike!)

TEEN YEARS, and whatever rites of passage we experiment with that may be culturally sanctioned or unsanctioned within this developmental period of our lives.

SCHOOL YEARS, beginning with kindergarten (HUGE transition, but perhaps mostly for moms and dads!) and ending at whatever point we decide…whether high school degree or GED, bachelor’s college degree, or advanced studies past the four year college degree.

RELATIONSHIPS, from casual “fun” dating (to help us learn the social strategies for being in relation to others) on into serious long-term commitments (maybe marriage, maybe committed but not formally married, life partnerships, and even serial monogamy, if we don’t do so well with the earlier social skills training…as well as a variety of other life style combinations….humans are very creative, you know!)

…And divorce has smacked a few of us in the face, and is usually not a transition that’s much fun to travel through…

PARENTHOOD, if we have chosen to have children, or end up having them anyway!

CAREERS. We may stay in the same line of work for our entire adult lives, or shift from one line of work to another, perhaps for reasons of dissatisfaction, job availability, a desire to move up the economic/corporate ladder, or a desire to follow a dream!

Actively caring for children may knock some of us off the career ladder for a while, if not (by choice or otherwise) for good.

GRAND-PARENTING…Oh joy! For some, however, it may end up being more active parenting than would be ideal, depending on circumstances within the family! It can also generate tension and conflict between you and your grown children who may technically have legal rights to the little tykes! Again, Oh joy!

And how do we maneuver through RELATIONSHIPS WITH GROWN CHILDREN and AGING PARENTS. It can feel like a great deal of that previously mentioned “one damn thing after another” as we attempt to shift these relationships appropriately for where the people in our lives are developmentally, mentally, emotionally, etc. as we attempt to interact with them and maintain quality relationships that meet everyone’s needs and capabilities.

RETIREMENT. What the heck is this, in this day and age? How do we make decisions about retirement, how do we define it, what will we do with our day(s) if we retire, who will we be if we are not defined by what we do for a living anymore? And on and on…Click here for more on retirement.

Can we talk…? This next transition is unavoidable, but few want to talk about itYes, you know what it is.

DEATH. And yes, it is a transition in our lives. We cannot have life without death. It is part of the process, and as such, must be included in the list of universal transitions!

We benefit from considering the quality of how we die, in the same way we want to consider the quality of how we live.                                                  

None of us can avoid death…or the death of someone we care about. How we handle ourselves when death comes, or enters our lives through the death of someone we love, is as important as how we live.

We cannot live well if we are afraid of dying. Our focus is more likely to center around avoiding death if we fear it. Fear of death is a distraction that diverts our energy away from living fully. For more info on this, read my article on the subject click here to learn about the importance of our relationship with the subject of death.

So, if any of this resonates with where you are in your life, and you feel that transitions may be at times challenging, I’d love to talk with you!

 

Contact me for an initial no obligation, no charge consultation about the benefits of coaching with me!

Coach Char