So…you’ve thought about what you want in your life, you are clear about where you’ve been, and how you got to where you are now. You know what will make you happy now and in the future and the kind of retirement  that will provide  the kind of life conclusion you can be proud  of.

And…you now sit, thinking about the life you know you want. Thinking about all the wonderful things the life you envision will bring. You may even be busy talking to your friends, colleagues, and family about it…in excited tones!

And yet, you still don’t have it! Why not?
You may have fond memories of the Peace Movement of the 1960′s & 70′s. You, or someone you know, may have even actively participated in it!

Now…where is your legacy movement?

Any “movement” implies movement!. A legacy movement needs movement to be effective. Without action you don’t move. Without energy there is no impetus, and even if you can muster some energy, without direction you’re left with random, chaotic movement, which may not succeed in creating the end results you want.

Get inspired! Get clear on where you want to go during whatever transitional period you’re in. Figure out what actions are needed to get you where you want to go.

And then, take action. One move at a time, one strategy at a time, one step…another step…another step. You can do it!

If I can help, let me know!

Growing Your Legacy with Coach Char…One Blog at a time!

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not getting anywhere?

First we need to ask, “Is there somewhere you want to go, and do you know where that might be…?” Because if you don’t have a strong desire to move forward to some place other than where your life currently is, then the question is moot!

But…if you have that desire, and feel stuck in your attempts at progress toward your goals, this post is for you!

Without exception, we make decisions in our lives based on what we believe, and our decisions create the results we get. We make decisions based on what we believe is right and wrong, possible and impossible, acceptable and unacceptable, and what other people want versus what we want. We sometimes base our decisions on proving nobody else can tell us what we can and can’t do, or out of fear of what might happen if we do this versus that.

And we all make our decisions based on what we believe will improve our lives, give us the results that will make our lives better…unless you are trying to intentionally sabotage your life…? Of course not!

So…if we want to understand the results we are getting, we need to explore the steps we have taken in creating those results. If we have not gotten the results we want, then we need to DO something different! I GUARANTEE that the results we get are the result of the steps we have taken. And those steps are based on the decisions we have made, which are based on our beliefs!

Have I lost you?

Think about it. If you say you want to go to the library, but you consistently end up at the video store, which ones of you would argue about the fact that you went down the wrong road? I suspect none of us would, since that seems obvious to us all!

But, if we say we want close relationships, but don’t do the nurturing, fail to devote the time, insist on being right & argue & distance ourselves from those we claim to care about, hold grudges, fail to practice forgiveness…should I go on…?

We have metaphorically “gone down the wrong road” to achieving relational closeness!

So, as you consider where you are in your life and what you want for your life,  think about the steps you have taken thus far. Are they ever going to get you what you really want. Are you willing to make different decisions to get different results?

If not, why not?

The answer most likely hinges on a belief. Can you identify what that belief is, why it holds you back, and whether you are willing to modify that belief, or let go of it completely, in order to create a different life for yourself?

Remember…the tongue in cheek definition of insanity is, “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
I assume you prefer not to be insane…?

Coach Char                                                                                                                                                                     Guiding You to Grow Your Legacy, One Blog at a Time!

If you’re reading this post entry, you most likely have everything you really need. If you didn’t already have your basic needs met, you probably should not have bought a computer…and you would not be able to read what you just read…

So, let’s assume you have what you really need in the way of shelter, food, a source of relatively clean water, a source of heat for the cold, clothes for warmth, etc. What more do you want?

When I was young, my mother taught me a French sentence that is the only French I remember after two years of high school French and two years of college French. The sentence is: “Je vous aime, je vous adore, que voulez-vous de plus amore?”

Loosely translated, that means: “I love you, I adore you, what more do you want?”

I suspect we often think we need things that we don’t really need, and that we make assumptions about what will make us happy that take us up the wrong tree, down the wrong road, up the ladder leaning against the wrong wall…you get my drift!

So, the question becomes… what do you really want, and what will really make you happy?

In her ground-breaking research book, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want”, Sonya Lyubomirsky says, “It is a truism that how you think – about yourself, your world, and other people – is more important to your happiness than the objective circumstances of your life.”

She indicates three areas of focus in our lives that serve to raise levels of happiness.

These three areas are:

1. Expressing Gratitude

2. Cultivating Optimism

3: Avoid Over Thinking

The more we focus on what we have, rather than on what we don’t have, the better we feel about our lives. Whatever you focus on gains prominence in your mind, and tends to create more of whatever it is you are giving attention to. An analogy is the way a muscle grows when you exercise it. The more attention you give to a particular thought, the more it grows, as well! So if you are focusing on what you are grateful for, the more you find to be grateful for!

Similarly, if you focus on positives in your life, and in the world, and keep an optimistic outlook, you SEE more positives and more reason to be optimistic!

Lastly, thinking too much about things you are concerned about, or what you wish would stop…or go away…causes these things to move to a central place in your thoughts, and creates more of what you don’t want rather than allowing you to spend your time & energy; your natural brilliance to create what you do want!

So, figure out what you want…realizing that these are probably things you want , rather than things you actually need!

Once you have figured out what you want, you are one step closer to being able to create the life you really want!

Char Elle En, ACSW

Guiding You to Grow Your Legacy, One Blog at a Time!

TO SUCCEED at transitioning into the retirement years, it’s important to first explore 4 things about the process.

1. Where have you been?
2. Where are you now?
3. Where do you want to be?
4. How do you get there?

SEEMS PRETTY STRAIGHT FORWARD & SIMPLE, HUH!

AND YET, it’s surprising how many of us have not fully contemplated these questions, much less come to an understanding of what the answers to the questions might be!

IF WE DON’T PAY ATTENTION to our history…what has worked, and brought satisfaction & success to us, and what has not worked as well for us in our lives, we are in a less advantageous position to make good decisions in the present, and for the future. The past is chock full of information for us to use in the present and the future!

OUR PRESENT LIVES are where we reside now! We hopefully have a sense of how we feel about the lives we are currently living. If we feel something is missing, or if we are transitioning in some way from one career to another, from having children in the home to empty nesting, if our significant relationships are not of the quality we envisioned earlier in our lives, etc. then we need to take stock and see what we have in our lives, how we feel about what we have in our lives, and what we want different for our future lives.

AND THEN THE ALL IMPORTANT QUESTION…where are you going in your life? Do you feel that you are headed in the direction you want to go? If not, what do you want for your future? Unless you can articulate this, you cannot achieve it.

WE CANNOT ACHIEVE WHAT WE CANNOT (OR FAIL TO) ENVISION!

SO THEN…let’s say we have figured out where we have been, where we are, and what we want in our lives. If all is not hunky dory at this point, how do we fix things. How do we transition well into our futures?

WE CAN WISH for something different, WE CAN HOPE it will be different, WE CAN PRAY for God to fix it for us, WE CAN BLAME everything on other people and  on life circumstances for what our lives are not…and resign ourselves to what we have or don’t have. But I guarantee we will not GET anything different unless we take different, and appropriate, action. The universe has a cause and effect law that is immutable. What we DO is what we CREATE! So to get what we want, we have to do what will work to get it!

THAT’S THE TRICKY PART!

IF I CAN BE OF SERVICE in guiding you through this process, let me know. Sometimes having someone shine a light down the path can be helpful as we try to walk it!

Char Elle En, ACSW                                                                                                                                                                                                               Growing Your Legacy, One Blog at a Time!